I failed but I am ok......
A while ago I started taking part in a coaching program, I was trying to see where I could go with my design and photography, I wanted to take things a step further. As you can imagine I had high hopes that I would succeed. I did learn don’t get me wrong, it was a learning experience, but in hindsight I believe I learn’t more about myself than I really wanted to.
Basically I failed. I got no further in my opinion. When I finally had to admit defeat it really threw me. I fell off the creative wagon completely, added to that was the fact that I had moved country again and to a country that has very strict photography rules, so I lost my photographic creative outlet at the same time.
I had too much time wondering what had happened to my happy little optimist existence. You could say I even went into a state of mourning.
It has been a year now and this summer was the least creative summer I have ever had. That isn’t to say I didn't enjoy it, I had a fabulous summer and cried when it was over. But I am most definitely in a creative rut.
Now I can wallow in self pity here, I did for awhile because failing while I had a coach really knocked my confidence badly, but I don’t want to wallow. I want to find a way back to a happy positive creative routine and mindset.
Losing confidence is not new to me, I have always suffered with self esteem and confidence. I am also no stranger to failure but it is never nice. When confidence gets a beating it can be very hard to see your why. So I asked CHATGPT for advice - cause lets face it that is what everyone is doing these days and this is the advice I got:
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings Without Judgment
Recognizing feelings of doubt without harsh self-criticism allows you to accept where you are emotionally. These feelings often arise after setbacks, criticism, or prolonged creative blocks. Allow yourself to experience them honestly, knowing they are temporary.
2. Reflect on Your Original Motivation
Reconnect with the reasons you started your creative journey. Whether it was passion, curiosity, or a desire to express yourself, revisiting your initial motivation can reignite your enthusiasm and remind you why your creativity matters.
3. Set Small, Manageable Goals
Sometimes confidence falters when goals feel unreachable. Break your creative projects into smaller tasks that feel achievable. Completing these tasks can build momentum and provide a sense of accomplishment.
4. Seek Feedback and Support
Sharing your work with trusted friends, mentors, or creative communities can provide fresh perspectives and encouragement. Constructive feedback can help you identify strengths and areas for growth without overwhelming you.
5. Embrace Experimentation and Play
Step away from pressure by experimenting with new techniques or projects that feel fun and low-stakes. This approach can reduce performance anxiety and remind you of the joy of creating.
6. Practice Consistency Over Perfection
Commit to creating regularly, even if the output isn’t perfect. Consistent effort can rebuild confidence by demonstrating progress and reducing the fear of failure.
7. Take Breaks When Needed
Sometimes, stepping back to rest or to engage in other interests can recharge your creative energy. A refreshed mind often brings new ideas and renewed confidence.
8. Document Your Progress
Keeping a journal or portfolio of your work and thoughts helps track growth over time. Seeing past successes and improvements can provide evidence that your creative journey is advancing, even when progress feels slow.
9. Remember That Doubt Is Part of Growth
Every creative professional experiences moments of uncertainty. These moments can lead to deeper self-understanding and refinement of your creative voice.
These are not bad pieces of advice, and the world is full of advice for everything now, but without action they are only words. These words hold possibility but only if I actually do something with them.
Finding that one thing that brings me back to my creative life without judgement or pressure is currently my holy grail and the thing that I will be working on - so maybe step 5 is most fitting at the moment.
I admit to myself - I failed - not a little fail a big fail, an emotionally destructive fail, but its what I do next that will count the now.
